An infatuation can disappear overnight, but a marriage doesn’t fall apart that quickly. The disintegration of your relationship happens over time. Along the way, there are many opportunities to make your union more satisfying and healthy.
But, many people spend years and years doing nothing to fix their relationship. They are miserable and their marriage doesn’t add any satisfaction to their life. They just can not conceptualize what is happening in their life. Their thoughts are disorganized and confused. They just avoid thinking about their problems and hope for the best. But problems that don’t get worked on are never solved.
What tends to happen is that things get worse and worse. Both partners get upset over more and more things. Communication spirals downwards and sometimes ceases. Other times, the couple lives in the state of heated arguments and power struggles. One small statement can trigger an entire argument.
If you’ve gotten to this place in your marriage, you need some relationship medicine. And a spoonful of sugar can’t help sweeten a sour marriage.
You can never afford to stop paying attention to your relationship. If you do, it will stop functioning. Marriage is work, and you have to work at it every day. Just as a car needs regular maintenance, your relationship needs to be tuned up in order to keep running.
Some people spend more time keeping their car in good shape – gas, oil changes, and regular maintenance – than they do working with their spouse. The thing is, a car isn’t a relationship – your marriage is.
A car is a machine. But people have thoughts, feelings, motivations, desires, and actions of their own. These complicate any interactions.
And remember – no matter how much money you spent on your car – your relationships are much more expensive!
When the two of you first got together, you spent time and emotional energy to become close. You shared your thoughts, feelings and experience with one another. You had secrets that you didn’t share with anyone else.
Over time, people become guilty of not nurturing their relationships because they have so many other pressing responsibilities. There’s a job, housework, and children to tend to. Oh yeah, and a car to take care of!
But you owe it to yourself and your spouse to give your relationship special care. While you need to take care of all of the adult responsibilities of life, you also need to be nourished as a person and live a balanced life. That’s where your relationship comes in; the things that keep you and your mate closely bonded keep you sane. If you fail to do this, you will spend a lot more time, emotion,energy, and money breaking up and starting over.